Here's an article: http://latimesblogs.latimes.com/movies/2011/08/sean-penn-terrence-malick-tree-of-life-critical.html
...in which actor/communist Sean Penn disses his new film The Tree of Life, by "acclaimed" director Terrence Malick. He basically says the film had no narrative and he had no clue what the hell his character was doing in the film. I haven't seen the film, but I'm willing to bet bottom dollar Penn's comments are spot on! Terrence Malick films are fucking ponderous and annoying. Only pseudo intellectuals, hipsters, and elitists like Terrence Malick movies! His films have no narrative, no story structure, no characterization, NOTHING. They are just images splashed onto a screen and strung together. Fuck me even David Lynch has better narrative than Malick! I at least can come away with a sense of what Eraserhead was trying to say. And at least Lynch stuffs his films with such odd bullshit that you cant help but to keep watching Malick is the film equivalent of Jackson Pollack. All splash and razzle dazzle and incomprehensible bullshit that people pretend is art. So score one for Sean Penn for once, for coming out and stating the obvious, when everyone else in Hollywood is still trying to figure out how many Oscars to have over to Malick next year. "Oh you just don't understand the beauty of..." No I don't and neither do you but you like to pretend you so you can look smart and artistic but you're not so FUCK OFF! I'll take 10 Green Lantern's over ONE Thin Red Line any day of the week and twice on Sunday.
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
Sunday, August 21, 2011
Weekend box office(or lack thereof) report!
So here's something I always fancied writing about but never did due to lack of space/time/energy, the weekend's box office take at the movies! For some odd reason I always like to see what ends up where and with how much. Just to see where audience interests lie and what movies end up making it and which ones don't. So maybe I'll start doing these weekly in my usual acidic fashion. Feel free to comment! Or I'll get lazy again. And none of us want that.
This weekend saw the release of 4 wide releases. And none one of them managed to make a dent! Instead, two steady hold overs held firm and took the top spots Here's a brief rundown.
The number one spot went to The Help. This years white guilt movie. It's been floating along steadily for weeks now but finally made the leap to number 1, getting good word of mouth and a steady stream of cash. This is already a financial success and is already gathering rumblings of possible Oscar nominations. The Blind Side all over again
In number 2 was Rise of the Planet of the Apes(could also be a white guilt movie) holding strong a few weeks in already. Here's a summer movie no one expected to like or even see, but it's doing better business than anyone could have imagined. It's also one of the best things playing right now, and if you don't think so, you suck.
The third spot went to Spy kids 4. Director Robert Rodriguez continued apology to his kids for cheating on their mom with actress Rose McGowen. They'll likely just hate him more after seeing this. It only made 12 million for the weekend, but Rodriguez knows how to keep budgets at a low, so at the end of it all this one will probably break even. Enough for him 20 more.
And in number 4 we have the most geek hyped up new release of the weekend which nobody else gave a shit about, CONAN! Actor Jason Momoa(the awesome Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones) took over the role from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nobody cared. The movie only mustered $10 million for the weekend. It cost $90 million. Ouch! Truth be told, its likely nobody gives a shit about seeing a Conan movie without Arnold. It's his second most iconic role after Terminator, Geeks will say its closer to the original source material the original movie was based on. But, I'm willing to bet audiences don't give a shit about the source material, or even know Conan exists outside of the Arnold movies. The box office take would seem to back me up on this. Also, I',m willing to bet the 3D for this didn't help. It's already a movie people don't give a shit about, and they'll give LESS a shit once they realize they have to pay double the money to check it out.
The Smurfs rounded out the top 5, still making more money then it probably deserves. But this will be the last time I under estimate nostalgia factor mixed in with a kiddie film. Hell there's a third Alvin and the Chipmunks movie on the way. I bet that ends up being a hit too. Shit.
The other two new releases for this weekend couldn't even land the top 5. Fright Night 3D(go fuck yourself Hollywood) made only $8 million! That's REALLY bad. Funny thing is this got good reviews and the handful of people who did see it all generally liked it. Unfortunately, that only amounts to an addition on one's netflix queue, not a trip to the theater. Speaking of which :adds Fright Night remake to queue: Cough. This starred Collin Farrell. Makes me wonder how the completely unnecessary Total Recall remake will fare next year. There was also some Anne Hathaway romantic film about who knows what. It only made $5 million. Bet she cant wait to be see in Dark Knight Rises.
So there you have it. the top 5 box office take for the weekend. Yes 5! You want the full 10, fuck you go find it! If you find this amusing, do let me know. Maybe I'll do it again next week! If there's anything left to make money anymore. Which i honestly don't think there is. There sure as shit isn't a single movie coming out from here to December that makes me want to go spend money and sit in a dank theater surrounded by assholes. Got other, better things to do. Like this bloqck!
By the way, for those wondering:
White Guilt Movie: a movie where your average white person, the type who will walk to the other side of the street when they see a black person, can appease thier guilt of hidden racism by liking a movie where a black person is a source of inspiration. Examples include Driving Miss Daisy, The Blind Side, and anything with Will Smith.
This weekend saw the release of 4 wide releases. And none one of them managed to make a dent! Instead, two steady hold overs held firm and took the top spots Here's a brief rundown.
The number one spot went to The Help. This years white guilt movie. It's been floating along steadily for weeks now but finally made the leap to number 1, getting good word of mouth and a steady stream of cash. This is already a financial success and is already gathering rumblings of possible Oscar nominations. The Blind Side all over again
In number 2 was Rise of the Planet of the Apes(could also be a white guilt movie) holding strong a few weeks in already. Here's a summer movie no one expected to like or even see, but it's doing better business than anyone could have imagined. It's also one of the best things playing right now, and if you don't think so, you suck.
The third spot went to Spy kids 4. Director Robert Rodriguez continued apology to his kids for cheating on their mom with actress Rose McGowen. They'll likely just hate him more after seeing this. It only made 12 million for the weekend, but Rodriguez knows how to keep budgets at a low, so at the end of it all this one will probably break even. Enough for him 20 more.
And in number 4 we have the most geek hyped up new release of the weekend which nobody else gave a shit about, CONAN! Actor Jason Momoa(the awesome Khal Drogo on Game of Thrones) took over the role from Arnold Schwarzenegger. Nobody cared. The movie only mustered $10 million for the weekend. It cost $90 million. Ouch! Truth be told, its likely nobody gives a shit about seeing a Conan movie without Arnold. It's his second most iconic role after Terminator, Geeks will say its closer to the original source material the original movie was based on. But, I'm willing to bet audiences don't give a shit about the source material, or even know Conan exists outside of the Arnold movies. The box office take would seem to back me up on this. Also, I',m willing to bet the 3D for this didn't help. It's already a movie people don't give a shit about, and they'll give LESS a shit once they realize they have to pay double the money to check it out.
The Smurfs rounded out the top 5, still making more money then it probably deserves. But this will be the last time I under estimate nostalgia factor mixed in with a kiddie film. Hell there's a third Alvin and the Chipmunks movie on the way. I bet that ends up being a hit too. Shit.
The other two new releases for this weekend couldn't even land the top 5. Fright Night 3D(go fuck yourself Hollywood) made only $8 million! That's REALLY bad. Funny thing is this got good reviews and the handful of people who did see it all generally liked it. Unfortunately, that only amounts to an addition on one's netflix queue, not a trip to the theater. Speaking of which :adds Fright Night remake to queue: Cough. This starred Collin Farrell. Makes me wonder how the completely unnecessary Total Recall remake will fare next year. There was also some Anne Hathaway romantic film about who knows what. It only made $5 million. Bet she cant wait to be see in Dark Knight Rises.
So there you have it. the top 5 box office take for the weekend. Yes 5! You want the full 10, fuck you go find it! If you find this amusing, do let me know. Maybe I'll do it again next week! If there's anything left to make money anymore. Which i honestly don't think there is. There sure as shit isn't a single movie coming out from here to December that makes me want to go spend money and sit in a dank theater surrounded by assholes. Got other, better things to do. Like this bloqck!
By the way, for those wondering:
White Guilt Movie: a movie where your average white person, the type who will walk to the other side of the street when they see a black person, can appease thier guilt of hidden racism by liking a movie where a black person is a source of inspiration. Examples include Driving Miss Daisy, The Blind Side, and anything with Will Smith.
Saturday, August 20, 2011
This is not an exit
So after countless requests, everyone from the Pope to the President, I have decided to shove aside laziness and give into temptation, and create a BLOG. Blog....blog....every time I say that word I feel like I'm choking on pasta or something. BLOG. BLOG. BLOQCK!!!! My BLOQCK!!! Fucking hell. I feel like shoving a q-tip into my throat to get the fettucini out.
In this BLOQCK you'll find sporadic posts ranging from movies, music, to politics(God help you) to countless other things. Anything under the sun I suppose. Anything that offends me(this will be frequent) to anything that makes me happy(infrequent). If you're the easily offended type, fuck you! I WILL offend. I MEAN to offend. I WANT to offend. I LIKE to offend. So if you cry at the sight of a sinful word or a vapid description, leave here now or I will chew you out further, and dedicate an entire bloqck post to mocking you. And there WILL be foul language. Will Smith doesn't have to curse in his blogs to get followers. Well I do. So fuck him and fuck you too! I'll make sure to shamelessly promote myself whenever a new bloqck post is written, so have no fear, you shall be informed/warned. So trap yourselves in, and get ready for a surprise! The one blog to rule them all has commenced!
In this BLOQCK you'll find sporadic posts ranging from movies, music, to politics(God help you) to countless other things. Anything under the sun I suppose. Anything that offends me(this will be frequent) to anything that makes me happy(infrequent). If you're the easily offended type, fuck you! I WILL offend. I MEAN to offend. I WANT to offend. I LIKE to offend. So if you cry at the sight of a sinful word or a vapid description, leave here now or I will chew you out further, and dedicate an entire bloqck post to mocking you. And there WILL be foul language. Will Smith doesn't have to curse in his blogs to get followers. Well I do. So fuck him and fuck you too! I'll make sure to shamelessly promote myself whenever a new bloqck post is written, so have no fear, you shall be informed/warned. So trap yourselves in, and get ready for a surprise! The one blog to rule them all has commenced!
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