Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Movie review: The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo

 
 
For a year now I've had to hear about how remaking the Swedish "masterpiece" The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo was a travesty upon humanity! That it could never be improved. I didn't care much for this. The American version was going to be directed by David Fincher, who is one of the best living directors today. So I just had a wait and see attitude. So this past week, I breezed through the book, saw the Swedish version, and just now have seen the America version. And it is now beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the American version is about one million times the better film. It isn't even fair to compare it. The American version improves on the Swedish film in every single possible aspect. Everything. This includes acting, direction, the story telling, style and most of all, how closely it follows the novel. so if you have never seen the Swedish version, don't. It isn't even worth it anymore now that we have this one. If you have seen the Swedish version, watch this one. Especially if you are a fan of the book. I will from here on out bitch slap anybody out of existence who lies to me and claims the Swedish version is better. That's an insult to my intelligence and to modern day cinema.
 
So with that out of the way, lets get to the film. The Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, based on the book of the same name, centers on a disgraced journalist who is hired by a rich Swedish industrialist to investigate who in his family killed his niece nearly 40 years ago. As he digs up answers and new puzzle pieces, he'll seek help from a hacker named Lisbeth Salander. She of said tattoo. the two investigate the murder and find themselves in increasing danger, and also form an unlikely emotional bond with each other that starts to break away Salander's otherwise ice cold demeanor.
 
The BEST thing this film does that the Swedish version butchered, is properly build and legitimately establish the friendship and bond between the journalist and Salander. Their chemistry they have is fantastic, and the two characters feed off each other effortlessly. As a result, this movie is essentially about 2 entirely different things that just to happen to tie into each other. On one hand you have the investigation into the murder, and on the other you have Salander's evolution as a character. Lisbeth Salander is the real star of the show. She's a fantastic character. A self reliant, ice cold emotionless creature, who appears almost zombie like at first. We witness as she endures one truly horrific event, which I wont spoil, and then the brilliant and cheer worthy way in which she retaliates. Once she meets the journalist, we see as her standard icy demeanor is slowly chipped away, showing that beneath it all is an actual vulnerable person who has real feelings and real emotions. One complaint that I can see lodged at this movie, is that the movie goes on well after the crime aspect is resolved. But to dismiss these scenes would be folly. They resolve Salander's story, which is just as vital to the movie and it's where the movie gets it's heart and soul. It elevates it above being a standard fair crime/mystery film into something more personal, and the film's melancholy ending is simply pitch perfect. Exactly as it was in the book.
 
As Salander, actress Rooney Mara(she who dumped Mark Zuckerberg at the beginning of The Social Network) is perfect. She expresses herself with only cold stares and body movements, and her dead end stares can send daggers in your direction. She is the embodiment of the character as described in the book. Then when the character finally starts to show some humanity, she again captures it beautifully. It's an excellent performance, one that should please the books fans.
 
As far as an adaptation goes, it's impossible to imagine this being better. There are only a few slight changes, nothing truly major. Mostly just to move the story along a bit faster. But they do manage to stuff in as much of the investigation of the mystery as possible. This is no surprise since director David Fincher loves that kind of stuff. He's a director in which the smallest of details mean just as much as the actual story. He actually manages to add a few nifty, yet demented flourishes throughout.(just wait til you see where he decides to place the song Orinoco Flow by Enya. I'll never think of that song the same again.) And the subject matter of the book was right up his alley. This is now yet another masterpiece of a film that can be attributed to him. It's excellent on every level. including the soundtrack by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, That soundtrack, which I think is easily better than the one they did for Social Network, manages to be haunting and foreboding and yet serene all at once. There are some seens which come off more intense than they normally would be just with the sounds Reznor and Ross apply to it. They deserve another Oscar for it.
 
The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo is a fascinating film. It's morbid, haunting, gleefully dark and bitter sweet all at once. It rises above standard fair crime story by focusing just as much on the relationship between two complex characters, and going full through with their emotional arc as well as resolving the story at hand. A near perfect adaptation of the book, David Fincher has nailed this one better than anybody else ever could. It's the best movie I've seen in 2011.
 
A+

Sunday, December 18, 2011

Movie review: Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows

 
I would be hard pressed to say Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is better than part 1. This may be one of the rare instances where I can't pick one over the other. Both have strengths the other doesn't. Part 1 for instance, has a better over all mystery, and is actually a lot more humorous. Part 2 however, features far better action sequences and a decidedly better villain. That of course, being the great James Moriarty. Holmes' deadliest nemesis. I'd say the cat and mouse game Moriarty and Holmes play against each other is the key reason to see this film.  Moriarty is the intellectual equivalent to Holmes, except he has none of the moral fissures which keep Holmes in check. This makes him not only extraordinarily intelligent, but deadly as well. He's played brilliantly by Jared Harris (from Mad Men and Fringe). Harris at no point goes over the top with the character, and manages to give him an aura of grace and class mixed in with pure sadism. He's the perfect foe for Robert Downey Jr.'s manic Sherlock Holmes. Jude Law is also excellent as the rational Dr. Watson, the anchor that keeps Holmes from ruining himself too much.
 
As stated, the action sequences in this one far outweigh the ones seen in the first one. They are filmed with a sense of true danger and a focused hyper activity that someone like Michael Bay could NEVER get right. One particular sequence set in a  forest is particularly intense. The film does as sequels usually tend to do, make everything bigger, faster, and add more explosions than are often necessary. But in this case, it doesn't feel like an exhaustion. The best scenes are when Holmes and Moriarty are face to face, trying to figure out who has just outwitted who and how. Also, the film's finale goes to a completely unexpected place, though if you are familiar with the original books, you'll recognize immediately what is going to happen and how it's going to end. It was a nice surprise, one I didn't expect the film makers to attempt.
 
So while the action is bigger and better, and the villain top notch, the film's darker tone can almost seem out of place given the comradery you associate with these films and with Downey Jr.'s take on the character.  As a result, the tone of the film sometimes seems off balance. But that's a minor gripe, and it certainly doesn't become enough of an issue to ruin anything. So if you liked the first one, you are sure to like this one. And if you didn't like the first one, you probably WILL like this one more. The faster pace and grander action sequences will keep you entertained. 
 
Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows is a perfectly serviceable sequel. Doesn't change the world or warrant any wards, but as mindless, fun entertainment, you can hardly do better than this one of the first one. Recommended.
 
Grade: (A-)

Monday, December 12, 2011

Trailer Park: Battleship!

You know what's worse than a shitty, unwatchable Michael Bay directed Transformers movie? A clone of it. Behold BATTLESHIP!


Whats this WHATS THIS???I mean GAH goddammit aaahhhhhhhhh................


THIS is why movies are FLOPPING! Look at that! It looks like someone just ejaculated onto a computer screen and turned it into CGI, packaged it put the name BATTLESHIP on it cause YAY a boardgame, and there's your movie.

What exactly is the point anymore of movies like this? I get more out of video games! And with better stories even. I was thinking for a bit this year that maybe I was just becoming old and cynical. But no!! The only movies I did end up liking this year would be dscribed as rubbish by true cynics! Things like X-Men : First Class and Captain America and Rise of the Planet of the Apes! I loved those! THEY HAD SOUL AND STORY!!!!! Mass piles of unwatchable shit like Transformers 3: Dark Side of Michael Bay's Asshole, did not. They were noise, surrounded with enough computer generated masurbation so that any mindless dork wouldn't notice they were being raped for 2 and a half hours. Thats what this dung heap looks to me. Ugh! Dare I say, for every movie coming out in 2012 that I am itching to see, there be 70 that make me run away in terror. This one here is right near the top of that list! This thing was sunk before it even began.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

Long overdue

I haven't updated this in some time. Hasn't been for lack of anything to write about. I've just been distracted by shit. Some of it my own mental apathy. Other's include life itself. And some of it was reading through the first three books of the Songs of Ice and Fire series, which is what the Game of Thrones show is based on. Those took up a lot of times since each one averages about a thousand pages. I'm all Songs of Ice and Fired out for the moment though, and am rushing through Girl With the Dragon Tattoo before it hits theaters. Just aren't enough hours in the day for all things. I haven't even finished Batman Arkham Asylum nor started Uncharted 3. I intend to take care of both of those during the Christmas break. And also, hopefully, post more here. I do intend to keep a steady flow of postings throughout the next year. I just gotta keep in mind, whenever I feel a rant coming on, I'll make sure to run to this here blog and plant it down. Why should rage be self contained! But for now, let's get the moth balls off this blog by posting a weekend box office update!

Fuck it. Nah fuck it. Here's what you need to know about the box office as of late. Everything, EVERYTHING that has come out since Rise of the Planet of the Apes has either bombed, disappointed, or barely broken even. The sole exception was Twilight. But just about everything else has been a mess. Reason is simple. Studio's aren't releasing anything anybody gives enough of a shit about seeing. Especially in this economy. Especially in this age of netflix and pirating. Why waste the time and money? The biggest concern for Hollywood is that their core, always reliable audience(young males) are no longer flocking to the movies. Mainly due to the fact that they have plenty of OTHER shit to do. Like video games which have grown this year. So don't expect much noise from the box office for a long while. You can only serve shit enough times before people finally taste it.

And speaking of shit, it's fun to see the Republican party has continued to grow more deeply insane over the last few months. The debates have become side shows, and Obama looks almost like a lock for re-election mainly due to the fact that the republicans have gone batshit and aren't even hiding the fact anymore. I mean when one of your leading candidates is a sexually harassing pizza guy, you have fucking problems. But this is a post for another day. When I have enough energy to run it down. For now, just know, the blog is back. I'll try to keep it up to date a bit better than I have, and let's see where the future takes us!

Also gotta start compiling my best of 2011 lists. Those should be fun.

Saturday, October 8, 2011

Atrocity movie review: Hanna

Two fucking weeks in a  row of this shit?? FUCK!!!



I'm not even putting the movie poster. THIS picture is a better representation of this thing.

I cant even FATHOM where to start with this one. There.....I.......


I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY!!!!!!! GOD!!!!!!!!!

This makes Transformers 3 look like Saving Private Ryan.


Sigh. Alright. So Hanna is about.......FUCK!!!!


Alright so Hanna is about a father and daughter who have been living deep int he woods somewhere. The dad, a former CIA agent, has spent all these years training Hanna how to be a killer about educating her and this and that. All in preparation for the day when she would have to confront the real world and deal with the mysteries of her past. Yeah sounds decent enough. Now imagine every possible way to make that scenario FAIL and you have the movie Hanna. The MAIN issue with this movie, is the fact that it's filmed in Euro style hyper activity, with brain dead American writing. The combination forms a total disaster of a movie. You have oddball characters with nutty little quirks, you get super speed editing set to the tones of techno music, and plot twists as dumber than you can imagine which you can spot coming a mile away, and lets not even mention the endless amounts of plot holes. But the movie tries to compensate for all this by being VAGUE about every single little detail you can possible imagine. Throw in a typical hint of lesbian love interest and you have yourself the perfect mish mash of the worst kinds of styles form both sides of the pond.

Then of course is the problem that nothing in the movie even matters! No plot point lingers long enough to have meaning, no sequence has any lasting significance on the next, no character means shit, NOTHING AT ALL MATTERS! You could erase EVERYTHING and EVERYONE from this movie except for about 5 characters and it wouldn't make a difference. BUT all the characters act vague and weird, so HOPEFULLY, you don't notice that nothing they do makes any sense and half of them don't mean shit!

The movie is also BORING as sin. I kept closing my eyes and nearly drifting off to sleep. This is supposed to be fast paced action movie? THERE IS BARELY ANY ACTION IN IT!!! Hell a whole hour of the film is dedicated to Hanna hanging out with a family made up of plot contrivances. They aren't real people mind you, no part of any of them is believable. But they are walking in your face metaphors that let you know Hanna is experiencing the world! In her own freakish, vague way. And even THAT makes it sound better than it actually is.

The best part of it all is the fact the movie becomes more absurd and unwatchable as it goes along. By the time it reaches it's final half hour, it becomes SO over stylized, and the plot SO redundant, I wanted to shoot myself in the face. I couldn't even believe I was sitting through his heap of horse shit. And the final 5 minutes of the movie, I just started laughing! LAUGHING!!!! Because at that point, they start throwing out the SYMBOLISM at you! It's like LOOK! REMEMBER THIS DEER SHE WAS HUNTING FROM THE BEGINNING OF THE MOVIE? WHERE HERE IS ANOTHER DEER IN THIS DARK TUNNEL!!! AREN'T WE FUCKING CLEVER!!!

Christ. Movies this bad insult my humanity. Hanna, a cinematic equivalent to a dirty dishwasher, its a fucking mess. A disaster of a film that doesn't even manage to be entertaining with its awfulness. It's just bland, boring, dull, redundant and fucking annoying. It's the worst goddamn thing I have seen this year by far.

Christ. Transformers 3 and now this shit. I don't even think I want to see anymore new movies this year. This is hideous. Though maybe I'll check out that Fast Five thing. I hated part 1, never saw any of the others, but Fast Five got surprisingly good reviews from the stuffy, elitist critics who usually hate those kinds of movies(they liked Hanna because it was stylized eurotrash). But hell it's at least got The Rock and Vin Diesel fighting each other, so it at least KNOWS what the audience wants. I think I will check it out. Cant possibly be any worse than this pile of puke right? Right??

Grade: F

Saturday, October 1, 2011

Unfortunate Movie Review: Transformers - Dark of the Moon


Fuck you.

There's a moment in Transformers Dark of the Moon, somewhere in the last cluster fuck hour, where the Meagan Fox replacement wanders overs to a sullen and depressed Megatron, and has a heart to heart conversation with him. In effect she chastises him for being a bitch to Sentinel Prime, who seven hours earlier in the film revealed himself to be the true villain, and essentially convinces Megatron that he should go kick his ass or something. I would like to ask every single dork who praised this movie to bits WHY exactly they neglected to inform me of this particular embarrassing moment in cinematic trash? Because to say it made my eyes roll into the back of my head is an understatement. I pretty much did this:

I point out this moment in the film because the absurdity contained within this brief moment is summary to all that is wrong with Transformers Dark Side of the Moon. It is a near 3 hour mess of a film. And only one of those hours comes even close to being watchable, but not quite. That leaves a whole 2 hours worth of SHIT. Some of the annoying factors of the completely unwatchable second Transformers movie have been erased. The two nigger bots for instance are gone. Though they are replaced by two midget bots. Luckily they aren't in the movie all that much. And the lead character's parent's are greatly reduced, but still show up, and still manage to ruin every moment they are in. You would think eliminating these annoyances would improve the film. But leave it to Michael Bay and his....sense of humor....to find NEW ways to replace them! See what we get is EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER in the film for 2 hours acting like a complete oddball and lunatic. I assume this was meant to be funny? You have John Malkovich showing up for some reason($$$) as Sam Whitwhateverthisidiotcharactersnameisinthemovie new boss. And he is uselessly odd and weird and USELESS given that he eventually VANISHES from the screen, as if he were never there to begin with. The Chinese idiot from The Hangover also briefly appears in the movie, just enough to act horrendous, as does Alan Tudyk, who plays Wash from Firefly and is forced to have a terrible accent of unknown origins because people with accents are funny! Ha ha ha. John Turturro also shows up again, but seeing as he's the ONLY oddball character who was ever amusing in this franchise, he manages to steal every scene he's in. His character's confrontation with Bill O' Reilly(playing himself and being far more ugly and evil than any decepticon in the film) is one of the only times I actually chuckled at the supposed comedy contained here in. What is funny is the fact that ALL oddball characters and irritating things essentially go away in the films last hour, making them all completely pointless and the films run time needlessly long. I could shave a good hour off this thing and you wouldn't miss a single bit of it.

The film has a plot somewhere in here. Apparently the moon landing was staged so astronauts could go to the moon and check out a fallen alien spacecraft. That craft contained Sentinel Prime who was headed our way for unknown reasons(which I've partly spoiled in the first paragraph. Oops.). This is kept secret from most people, until it isn't, and the autobots head off to bring Prime's corpse down to earth to revive him, which only Optimus can do. Shrugs. There's also some business about Megatron and other decepticons trying to build a transport so they can bring to earth other decepticons and bunch of other shit to take over our world. Oh and there's also a plot line which involves human conspirators who have been working all this time with the decepticons in order to help them take over our world. None of this makes much sense, especially since the FIRST film actually exists and contradicts just about everything in this one :D  But hey lets not let a thing called continuity fuck with a franchise, dammit!

Transformers: The Wall isn't a total bust. There's I guess a small handful of things in it worth looking at the screen for? Um.....well some of the action is nice! Apparently Michael Bay had to actually slow down his shots and have them last longer in order to get them to work in 3D. The result is you can SEE what is going on! The robots all still look identical to each other so I had no clue who was getting killed unless Optimus or Bumblebee were doing the killing. They do most of the killing as it is so I suppose this wasn't too much of an issue. The whole last hour of the film is passably watchable since all annoying things are gone and it's mostly just action. But you just have to MAKE IT there to reap the benefits, and they really just aren't worth it. Or none at all come to think of it. Forget this paragraph.

Fact is, there is SO much wrong in Transformers: The Division Bell I can barely list them all. First off is the fact I didn't give a single SHIT about ANY human character on screen. Shai Lebouf makes for an irritating lead character. The fuck happened to this guy? When the first Transformers movie came out, he had a likable everyman charm about him. But in this one he comes off like an egotistical prick you just want to slap around some. I guess having Steven Spielberg shove him into a shitty Indiana Jones movie gave him a confidence boost. Sadly, it doesn't come off well on screen. Then there's also the nonsensical image of him dating the Meagan Fox replacement. On no planet, real or fiction, would  a girl THAT hot date a guy who looks like THAT. Simply doesn't exist. But the geeks who infest theaters to watch this NEED their fucking eye candy dammit and so there she is. Suffice to say the FIRST shot you see of her is of her ASS of course. The geek be appeased!


She made our twinkies move in our pants!
 So you have a convoluted plot which serves no purpose, annoying characters from top to bottom, and then the real kicker, the complete LACK of autobots! This franchise is now three films in and all tied together, with nearly 6 or 7 hours of fucking screen time, the autobots make up about 30 minutes of it. In fact I think they appear the least in this film. Shit they don't even DO anything. You may as well call this movie HUMANS cause that's what you get PLENTY of. The movie NEVER leaves the sides of the human beings. But nobody wants to see any of these assholes they want to see robots doing shit and there just isn't enough of that. Whenever the autobots DO show up, it's only AFTER the humans have already pretty much succeeded in killing or maiming the shit out of most of the decepticons. Oh and don't think they get much screen time either. Aside from the fact they all look the same, you only ever get one appear at random so he can kill a few human and then have few more humans kill him. The robots should have been front and center here not Shai Lebouf and his Meagan Fox replacement.




I get to call Megatron a bitch :D
 A lot of geeks pulled out fully erect 3 inch penises at me in regards to Transformers: Wish You Were Here. I have half a mind to castrate them all. But I've lost my tweezers so fuck it. The SPECTACLE of the film they claimed. The IMPACT of the films last hour. Well guess what, IT AIN"T ALL THAT MUCH! The action goes on for so long I actually managed to get BORED. The explosions just begin to fade into each other and I lost track of what was going on, or just didn't give a shit. An action scene to me is pointless unless I give a HINT of a shit about anybody I'm watching on screen. And this movie doesn't lead you to care for anybody or anything. It's just a gleeful amount of wanton destruction left and right with a bunch of faceless people and robots getting whacked for whatever purposes. There is something to be said about less is more and DAMN if this movie doesn't prove that one. The action doesn't even feel fresh! I've seen ALL of this before! IN OTHER MICHAEL FUCKING BAY MOVIES! What was new? What was so AMAZING as to erect normally dormant penis? "Oh you had to see it in a theater!' No I DON'T have to see it in a theater, because If a movie is ONLY good in a theater then it SUCKS. "Oh well, not every movie can be an Oscar winner or the English Patient" The English Patient. Really. So you go to THAT extreme eh? Guess what? THAT movie sucked donkey balls too :) I don't want Oscar caliber quality material. Hell I'd say most movies I like fall WAY short of that. What I do want is a SENSIBLE movie with characters worth giving just a LITTLE bit of a shit about so that when I am forced to sit through 90 minutes of bullshit "comedy" and one FULL hour of explosions and catastrophe, I am not given a sudden urge to do my fucking laundry or clip my fucking toe nails. THIS movie right here is exactly why I barely step foot in a theater these days. It's all BULLSHIT for the extremely easily amused. There is NOTHING here riveting or compelling. But the fact that it wasn't anywhere near as bad as the second one is considered GOOD ENOUGH these days. Well not for me. I still demand more. And often times enough I am given that more(X-Men: First Class) without having my head explode. So FUCK YOU and your lame ass bullshit as to why THIS steaming pile of shit was good. It wasn't and every dork who praised it like the virgin mother's breast milk can fuck the fuck off.

So, to summarize, Transformers: Lucy In the Sky With Diamonds really isn't much of a movie. It's a collection of left over Michael Bay material from the previous two films strung together in a vain hope that audiences are still dumb enough to buy it(they are). The film's first 10 hours are a barrage of toilet humor populated by stupid characters who all vanish just in time for the films final 17 hours of non stop explosions death chaos mayhem OH MY FUCKING GOD MY DICK MOVED heroics. Been there, seen that, don't care. Die. It's NOT as bad as part 2, but that really isn't a compliment. It's still a shitty movie, and it's become painfully obvious the Transformers shtick was never worth more than ONE movie. So, if you really want to experience a Dark of the Moon, might I suggest you go with the proper one:


Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go piece together what's left of my brain after having lost most of it due to this shit and the geek justification for it being "good". Think I just found my Hypothalamus!

Grade: D

Sunday, September 25, 2011

Weekend Box Office Report! Lion King.....wait what? Again?

People must REALLY be in desperate need for something to watch that isn't total ass, since a movie that's been available to purchase for well over 10 years is number 1 at the box office AGAIN! Lion King 3D came in with $22 million for this weekend! Did just as well this week as it did last. That's pretty insane. I doubt even Disney expected that. Looks like this may be the only movie put out this year that doesn't suffer because of the 3D stamp on. Go figure. Fucking Lion King.

In number 2 was a movie that's actually gotten REALLY good reviews, Moneyball, starring Brad Pitt. It made $20 million for the weekend, proving Brad Pitt is still extremely relevant and well liked. Should give the studios making World War Z a sigh of relief. Though I still don't understand why they are releasing that in December next year so close to The Hobbit. That's just suicidal.  But anyway, good for this movie. Nice to see something that looks to be of quality get some attention. Pitt may also be in the race for a best actor Oscar come nomination time for this movie, so expect to hear about it for a while longer. I'll check it out when it hits netflix, er, Nestle Qwikster.

Number 3 went to Dolphin Tale! Made also about $20 million. The studio actually expected more. They are wondering if Morgan Freeman is to blame for this not picking up more cash. Freeman you see went on CNN and CORRECTLY called the Tea Party a bunch of dumb fuck racists in not so many words. So the studio thinks this may have alienated some people away from the film. Uh huh. OK, none of those tea part cock suckers were EVER going to see a movie about a dolphin and the reason this bombed is because IT"S A MOVIE ABOUT A FUCKING FISH! And in THREEEE DEEEEEE no less. So EXTRA charge to see a movie about a dolphin that cant swim. Thanks, but fuck you. THIS again is why Hollywood is in ruins. It's run by brain dead assholes who refuse to take blame for their own shitty products. Fucking fish movie.

"A dolphin isn't a fish, it's a mamm..." SHUT THE FUCK UP!

Number 4 was Abduction with a miserable $11 million. This movie is important because it was the first test to see whether Taylor Lautner, who plays the shirtless werewolf boy in those hideous sparkling vampire movies, could open a movie with him as a star that doesn't have the words Twilight in it. The answer is no, fuck you. NEXT!

Number 5 is Killer Elite, which stars Robert De Niro, Jason Statham, and Clive Owen. I honestly had no idea this movie was coming out this week, and neither did anybody else since it made only $9 million. Less than that stupid werewolf kid. That's sad. How did they NOT market this film with that cast? Ridiculous. Again why Hollywood is sunk.

I don't even know what the fuck is coming out next week, so we'll probably have Lion Kind 3D number 1 again just out of sheer desperation. Christ do movies SUCK now. Ugh! By the way, that new Transformers movie is coming out to rent soon! I haven't seen it yet. Refused to watch it in theaters since part 2 made most of my brain explode due to its stupidity, and I had to piece it together bit by bit. I haven't been right ever since. But a number of geeks pulled out fully erect penises at me and proclaimed this to be the movie of the summer. So now I'll get to see it for myself. And if it isn't good, hell to pay :)

Ta ta for now!