This report is for the 4 day labor day weekend! Isn't that exciting? No? Fuck off then! Curiously enough, fuck off is what movie goers said to Hollywood this weekend, as only 1 film managed to make over $10 million dollars. And that would be...
...This weeks number 1 spot of course, "The Help" once again clinging to the top spot with $14 million. That would normally seem like a weak showing, but these days it looks like gold.
Number 2 movie was something called The Debt.with $9 million. It has something to do with people hunting down retired Nazi's. The jews who own Hollywood need their fix too!
I hear Mel Gibson didn't like it.
Numero tres is Apollo 18 with $8 million. It's one of those hand held scary movies where absolutely NOTHING happens for 90 minutes other than characters yelling at each other that they think they saw something, only for all hell to break loose for 5 seconds at the very end of the film before something inevitably breaks or eats the camera recording it all. I hear Tom Hanks makes a cameo in this movie as the creature tormenting the astronauts and breaking/eating said camera, but the only way to confirm this is to see the movie which I wont do so lets just pretend it's Tom Hanks and leave it at that OK? Good. Moving on...
Number 4 is Shark Night 3D with another $8 million, and the final nail in the coffin of Hollywood shoving 3D onto every movie possible. I have no idea what this movie is about, but for some reason, I get the striking feeling it might have something to do with manatees! Or Tom hanks.
And number 5, making me type this massive title once again just to spite my existence, is Rise of the Planet of the Apes. It made $7 million.
So yeah, VERY weak showing this weekend. At this point, I'm only posting these reports just so I can laugh and mock Hollywood for turning out lame shit at the theaters. And making it all in fucking 3D. Assholes. OK so I think i may have developed carpal tunnel after having typed out the Apes title again so I'm gonna cut this off right here. Until next time!
If Tom Hanks would've been in those movies they would've grossed more....just sayin' :p
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